because there's really a belly there. with a baby in it.
and because I've been waiting and wanting this moment, for my whole life.
to grow a child, become a mother, and to give birth.
This past week I've been struggling so much with silly things, like my growing thighs
and chubby face and having to buy a new, much larger bra.
Every time I've looked in the mirror before today, it's been to pick
apart the little things I didn't like so much about being pregnant.
And I have been saying things a lot like "I can't go 5 more weeks"
"being pregnant is really hard"
I never just took a good look at my beautiful, growing belly.
I never gave myself a chance to be in love with this body that I only get
to have for a very brief moment.
I have prayed and wished and hoped for this moment.
How could I be so silly and quick to forget to appreciate what is happening to me?
In only a few short weeks, this little girl will be in my arms.
And I'm starting to feel like I haven't had enough time to soak up my pregnancy
and to love what is happening to me.
Right now is the only time that she gets to be the closest to me, ever.
This is the only time that she gets to just be mine.
this is the only time ever, that she gets to feel what I feel.
As much as I'm ready to bring her earthside and kiss her tiny lips,
today, I am sad that she wont be just mine anymore.
And maybe I'd be ok if she stayed in here just little longer.
1 comment:
OH! This makes me cry happy/sad tears.
When Emerson was first born, I missed him. Which was the strangest feeling. I would be looking at his beautiful little face and be missing him so much it made my heart ache.
I never had this realization, and I am so glad that you did. I hope that next time, I will think of this post and remember to love my belly.
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